I prepared for work this morning by looking through my personal items box, which contains my extra keys, wrist watches (that I never wear any longer), and lapel pins. There, I located my purple lapel pin to recognize the first day of October as Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
As I started out the door, my wife asked what lapel pin I had on, and I explained it was my purple ribbon for Domestic Violence Awareness Month and quickly headed for the door. As I drove into the office, I began to ask myself, “Am I going through the motions or is Domestic Violence Awareness Month truly important to me?”.
We know the devastation domestic violence has on victims and their children. Not feeling safe in your own home and afraid of the very relationships in which we should feel the most at peace is traumatic. We know this trauma affects the very fabric of life and children exposed to this violence to a lifetime of mental and physical health concerns. Even lessening life expectancy!
I then thought of the 23 families in Davidson County who have lost loved ones to a fatal domestic violence incident. Four of these fatalities being the young and promising lives of children. All these who we’ve lost to this violence had those who loved them and depended on them. They had children, parents, friends, neighbors, and co-workers who were positively impacted by knowing them.
As a community, we are forever changed due to these lives that have been taken due to domestic violence. We can’t escape this fact. We may think it doesn’t truly affect us. Surely these victims had a way out and didn’t have to stay in relationships like these. We just need to dismiss it as a “one off” situation and look to tomorrow and better times.
However, it isn’t that simple. Those caught in the grips of a controlling relationship soon lose any semblance of their worth. They have been devalued and damaged to the point they see no purpose or importance in their world or community. Their lives become a constant race to stay just ahead of the violence bearing down on them. With this unrelenting challenge, there is no time to look for ways out and many feel their lives have already passed them by. They believe it must be their fault for all the destruction they continually live in.
We can make a difference in the lives of those impacted by this violence. We must keep our eyes and hearts open to those in need and make the promise to not dismiss this community health problem as something that doesn’t impact each of us. We can make certain we remain vigilant to the needs of victims and their children and not be afraid to ask, “Are you safe?”. Or to say to someone that you care about their safety, and they don’t deserve to be harmed or abused. You can direct them to national hotlines and local providers who are experts in addressing domestic violence and child abuse.
What we can’t afford to do is live our lives without Seeing. Without being open to the truth around us because it may cause us discomfort. In fact, I’m hoping our discomfort creates opportunity for change. That struggle improves our ability to identify what really matters. You can make a difference in the life of someone else! There is no greater calling than to care for others.
Please take a moment to remember those we’ve lost and to make a promise to not turn away and to shine the light in areas of darkness.
Thank you for accepting this challenge.
Tim Tilley